Confessions of a Naturalista: Dinesha "My Natural Hair Journey, a poem"

Confessions of a Naturalista: "Gratitude is Gorgeous" by Beatrice Clay

Why Gratitude Lists are Important

By: Beatrice Clay

                             

“Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life.  It turns what we have into enough, and more. It turns denial into acceptance, chaos to order, confusion to clarity. It can turn a meal into a feast, a house into a home, a stranger into a friend. Gratitude makes sense of our past, brings peace for today and creates vision for tomorrow.” ~Melody Beady

Gratitude is the very first step toward creating a more beautiful life or anything for that matter. Taking stock of what you already have and expressing gratitude for it is a game changer or rather a mind changer.  As the opening quotation suggests, gratitude preps your mind and spirit for miracles.  Identifying and choosing to focus on the little sweet pleasantries in your life not only keeps you from responding negatively to all the crap that you will surely encounter so long as you’re breathing, but gratitude also opens you up to receive more good than crap.  Think of gratitude and expressing it as a magnet for all things good, graceful and Godly.

You’re essentially telling God, the Universe or what ever divine love that lights you up and keeps you going that you are aware of divine provision, you gladly accept it and your heart is open to more. 

                               

“You simply will not be the same person two months from now after consciously giving thanks each day for the abundance that exists in your life.  And you will have set in motion and ancient spiritual law: the more you have and are grateful for, the more will be given you.”~ Sarah Ban Breathnach

My daily gratitude lists are my saving grace most days. Once I am awake and properly hydrated (read: caffeinated) I jot down 3-5 things that I am grateful for.  I start my day with gratitude. Even when I am at an emotional low or on the brink of tears or trying to quiet the urge to scream “why me,” I write my gratitude list. My commitment to writing a gratitude list despite how I feel is actually the saving grace part.  On those “why me” days, my gratitude lists keep me from sinking lower.  Those few moments I spend searching my heart to find the good, are a few less moments I spend bemoaning the crap.  In those moments, gratitude does her work. My gratitude list reminds me it ain’t all bad.

I encourage you to start expressing gratitude daily. Lists work wonderfully. No fancy paper or notebook needed. Just grab a pen/pencil/sharpie or crayon and a blank piece or paper or index card and jot down at least three things you are grateful for today.  Tomorrow, write another gratitude list. The day after tomorrow, another.  The third day, another. You get where I am going.  Make writing a daily gratitude list one of your sacred practices and watch something beautiful begin to happen.

Need a little more, well join me for 365 Days of Gratitude over at inspired by Beatrice Clay. Got a blog or other social media account and want to share your lists? Let me know and I’ll be sure to follow.

One last bit of PRETTY before I go: printable blank gratitude cards made just for you and your gratitude lists! (link “gratitude lists”)

Beatrice Clay Elsewhere:
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Girls who ROCK: Jessica Watson "Take Chances, Follow your Passion"

I would describe Jessica as a curly girl on a quest for discovery and adventure. I'm proud and excited to share this because not only is Jessica my mentor, but also someone who I truly admire. She has played a major role in me starting my own company and I'm so glad to know her! Please enjoy this story about taking risks and following your passion.

Introduce yourself: 

My name is Jessica Watson, and I'm the CEO/Creative Director of JWatson Creative  (http://jwatsoncreative.com), a design + consulting studio in Baltimore, MD. I also manage B'More Creatives (http://bmorecreatives.com), a networking group for women in the creative profession. In 2013, I operated my business solely from the road for the entire year, living for a month at a time in a different city. I've had the pleasure of bike riding at night through the French Quarter, kayaking in Miami, hiking in California, driving the Pacific Coast Highway, and so much more. My eyes have seen such breathtaking sunrises and sunsets, and the experience has shaped who I am as a person today. I blogged about the journey here: Design By Travel (http://designbytravel.com)

Why do you ROCK?

I rock because somewhere along the way in this journey of life, I discovered that I had the power and the capacity to do much more than I ever thought possible. When I challenged myself and my beliefs, my future became even brighter, opportunities became clear as day, and I got very excited about what I could do in this lifetime. In addition to my work, I'm passionate about giving back to communities, and empowering others to chase their dreams through believing in themselves.

Motivational Typography created by Jessica

Why did you travel around the country?

When I decided to start JWatson Creative almost 4 years ago, I was sold on this notion of having an amazing life full of adventure and excitement. I thought being a business owner was my ticket to freedom. I'm also a huge believer in setting intentions and positive energy, so I fell in love with inspirational quotes telling me to go live my dreams and explore the unknown. 2.5 years into my business, and I felt tied down to my location with my MacBook Pro attached to my hip. "This isn't what all the books said," I thought to myself, "I want a life where my work and personal worlds meet on the corner of fun and adventure." I didn't realize how much the quality of my life was dependent upon me. After some mindful reflecting, I decided to do exactly what those quotes told me to do, I packed up my car and ventured out into the unknown.

What cities did you live in, and how did you pick them?

My January started in Miami South Beach, which was a nice way to start the year (I mean, it's January and I'm wearing flip flops!). From there I went on to Atlanta, New Orleans, Austin, Boulder, Long Beach, Portland, Seattle, Chicago and Memphis. My car was my mode of transportation. I chose cities that I had always been curious about, but was never sure when I would get to them. When would I go to New Orleans, for example, and really experience the authenticity that is New Orleans?

In all honesty, when I started in January 2013 I only had a couple cities in mind for my trip. I found it so taxing to plan anything beyond 3 months of the year because of all the coordinating and details involved (which is so not how I used to live my life). I have grown to be comfortable with the uncertainty that comes with living in the now, and to appreciate the present moments we are given.

Did you have any goals while traveling?

My goal was to not be a tourist. I wanted to live like a local without being local. I volunteered, socialized, and networked like I would do when I was at home. I found my favorite local cafes and restaurants, and also met some great new friends along the way. I get a lot of questions asking if I picked up new clients or tried to sell my business while I was traveling. I'm no sales person in the traditional sense. I believe in building relationships and connections, and feel that those will ripple forward creating several opportunities in the years to come. I also believe that the best selling tactic is your integrity, and showing who you are as a person verses talking about it. Actions always speak louder than words. I'm already starting to see the fruits of my journey, and I look forward to engaging in what happens next.

What advice do you have for anyone starting a business or going out on their own?

You have to be crazy to be an entrepreneur, but I promise it's the good kind of crazy. It's the wonderful, unpredictable, hopeful, wide-eyed, heck-yeah, let's do this like of crazy. It's not for everyone, but if it's for you, you'll feel it. It will light your fire. There will be times when things won't add up, when you'll fall down and wonder how to get back up, or when things don't go as planned. Steady yourself and work through it. Keep your eyes on the prize. Don't be afraid to treat your business like a fluid concept (as in, something that can change and grow and adapt based on life lessons and experience). In addition to the hiccups, there are also these beautiful moments of amazing synergy where everything is going right and you're on top of the world. Those are the moments I live for, but I appreciate both circumstances. Everything that didn't go according to my plan has taught me so much, and has eventually led to experiences and projects beyond what I could've imagined for myself.

Have people in your corner, preferably those who have wisdom and experience, who can advise you and provide constructive feedback. Think positive thoughts, and be thankful for what you do have.

What's your favorite quote?

"You must give up the life you planned, so as to have the life that is waiting for you." - Joseph Campbell

"I am learning to trust the journey even when I don't understand it." - Mila Bron

"Eventually all the pieces fall into place. Until then, laugh at the confusion, live for the moment, and know that everything happens for a reason." - unknown

What's next?

I'm back in Baltimore for the time being, presently planning to do some travel in Europe later this year, and also considering participating in a service project abroad. I've learned that strangers really aren't that strange at all. We're all connected in more ways than we know. We are all human. And the more you discover the humanity in all of us, the easier it is to relate to people, go with the flow, and embrace the concept that no matter what happens everything really will be alright.

To purchase some of Jessica's awesome Motivational Typography and other items click here: Facing Forward

Confessions of a Naturalista: "Natural in Corporate America"

The author of this feature has chosen to leave her name anonymous as she shares her experience being natural in corporate America. She is an Associate Vice President at a Public Relations firm in New York City. She handles entertainment accounts -- primarily theatrical film campaigns and film festivals.  

My story:

I’ve worn my hair straight and permed since the second grade -- I still stand by the fact that my hair was too overwhelming for my multiracial mother whose hair is not quite like mine! (although she’d hate me for saying that). Unlike a lot of transition accounts, I never had any traumatizing experiences with relaxers. In fact my long, straight hair always looked pretty awesome. Nevertheless, I made the decision to let go of my perm at 25 -- which was an overall identity-exploring year for me in several aspects.

With permed hair I felt like a fraud and I hated myself for being disgusted with the hair that grew in when my perm grew out, partly because I recognized that that meant I hated a piece of me – so dramatic, right? Who am I? With a perm I actually felt more different than my fine-haired colleagues in having to wrap my hair at night on business trips in the occasional shared room, or in getting caught in the snow at Sundance where my co-workers would watch the texture of my hair change before their eyes. I felt like I was trying to hide something and convince everyone around me -- including myself -- that my hair was like theirs.

I wanted to be in a place where I didn’t need to run from the rain or the pool, or spend $70 upwards for a perm every six weeks. Most importantly I wanted to somehow find solace with/embrace my hair’s natural texture.

As an introverted person, I had a million fears of standing out in a negative way, but working in the entertainment industry was certainly on my side in that regard. I’ve been lucky in that my natural hair was wholly embraced at the office – ugly phase and all -- probably because it seemed different and edgy. After years at the firm of always being the baby in my department, I also think my new short hair came off a bit more mature vs. my long straight hair pulled back into a ponytail. Overall my colleagues were very supportive and I received a ton of compliments, even when I was sure I didn’t deserve them! My experience may have been very different somewhere more corporate.

I’ve managed to get promoted twice throughout my transition so it can’t be but so off putting. At times I feel pre-judged or treated differently because of it, but some (read: most) of that is my own insecurities as I continue to adjust, gradually loving my hair more and more overtime and as it takes on a life of its own.

My advice to those apprehensive about going natural in corporate America: Know that once you embrace it and are confident, most everyone else around you will. Confidence and professionalism trumps everything, and if for some reason it doesn’t you’ll never be comfortable where you are. Corporate America exists on a spectrum so there are certainly more open-minded, corporate cultures with employees who will focus on your merit and work ethic rather than your hair, and are enthusiastically waiting to embrace you with open arms – ‘fro and all.

What has your experience been like having natural hair and working in corporate America?

Girls who ROCK: "How to be GorJess"

by Jessica of  "Hey GorJess" 

    

A lot of these tips literally start from within and then radiate to the outside! So its like getting two in one! I hope you find them helpful -J

Have Faith
The first and most important way to be beautiful inside and out is to keep God first. 
Keeping Him in the center of your life will give you joy, peace, and love that will give you a glow and light to share with others. 

Be Educated
An educated woman is so attractive! So if you are in school, work hard to get the best grades you can! And if not—never stop learning! My new years resolution is to read one book a month! There is sooo much wisdom out there and we are just letting it go to waste if we don’t use it! There are also so many awesome informative blogs out there. So read as much as possible.

Eat Healthy
This is super important. If you want to be beautiful on the inside, it is important to eat your greens and drink plenty of water. One of the best ways to get your greens is to drink green smoothies. (I have a recipe for my green smoothies here.) It helps to get greens into your body easily and quickly. Plus it makes a huge difference on your skin, hair and body. It is full of “beauty” foods such as spinach, and celery. And then when it comes to water—drink half of your body weight in ounces. So if you weight 120 lbs, drink at least 60 ounces of water a day! This will help with maintaining a healthy weight and getting clear, glowing skin.

Travel
I absolutely love to travel. It is truly one of my passions. I don’t do it enough, but I try to as much as possible. Traveling is not only tons of fun, but it helps you become a well-rounded person. You get to learn about different cultures and apply them to your life. And if you can travel alone—even better! One time I went to Costa Rica on a mission trip with a group of people I didn’t know at all. It was terrifying, but it taught me so much about myself and helped me to be more independent. 

Spend time with friends and family
These days we are all so busy with work, school, and whatever else. But don’t forget to spend time with the people you love. It brings so much joy when I spend time with my friends and family and it makes me a happier and more fun person. 

Be thankful for what you have 
It so easy to compare your life to other’s. Especially with social media—everyone else’s life seems better than our own. But by the being thankful for what you have, you will be more appreciative and content. 

Exercise
Exercise is essential for everyone! It keeps you healthy, gives you more energy, and of course keeps you in shape. If you can workout even just 3 times a week, that’ll make a difference. And if you can’t make it to a gym, work out a home! Buy some dumbbells, a wheel, and ankle weights and you’re set! I worked out with those three things two days ago and I am still so sore! Lol I had a great workout with them. 

Take care of your skin 
This can be a little difficult to do because so many of us struggle to have clear skin. I personally had a tough time getting clear skin until recently. But I’ve finally found a regimen that works for me. I use African Black Soap to wash my face, Apple Cider Vinegar as my toner, an acne cream I got from my dermatologist for whenever I get breakouts, and Coconut Oil as my moisturizer! So it is mostly natural and super healthy for your skin! I also use Bentonite Clay with apple cider vinegar about once or twice a week as a mask to help prevent breakouts as well. (You can read more details about my skincare regimen here.)

Take care of your hair
These might seem obvious, but you’d be surprised how many women neglect their 
skin and hair at times. So make sure you are deep conditioning it, trimming your ends, and styling it the healthiest way for your hair type. 

Shop on a budget 
You don’t have to spend a whole lot of money to dress nice! You can shop at outlets, get things on sale, or even shop at places like Forever21 and H&M! They both have great clothes that are super cute! 

And that’s all! If you have any other questions or ideas you’d like to share you can email me at Jessica@heygorjess.com and/or check me out on YouTube and social media!

Blog: www.heygorjess.com

YouTube: www.youtube.com/heygorjess1

Instagram: www.instagram.com/heygorjess

Facebook. www.facebook.com/heygorjess

Pinterest: www.pinterest.com/heygorjess

Thank you Forever Natural for featuring me! -J

Hair Care: "Beer Soap Review"

For Christmas, my mom ordered these awesome beer soaps from "Good Clean Soaps" on Etsy for me. I'm not sure how I found these because in the shop they're called "shaving soaps" and I don't shave (I wax). Random, I know. LOL However, I thought they would be awesome to try on my hair because they're all natural and contain beer in them. 

Occasionally, I like to do beer rinses as a hair treatment. The protein from the molt and hops are awesome for natural curls because they coat, rebuild and repair hair. (Read more about beer rinses on Naturally Curly.com) So, I thought it would be really cool to try a soap with beer in it. After reading the ingredients, I was nervous when I saw "sodium hydroxide" because I didn't know exactly what it was. However, once I researched it, I felt more at ease. I found this post on Curly Nicky that shed some light on the topic: 

"While NaOH (sodium hydroxide) is damaging to hair when used at high concentrations and at high pH, when used at low levels at neutral pH, it doesn't cause any problem at all. That’s because sodium hydroxide is basic (hi pH) and it will react with other ingredients that are acidic (low pH.) This reaction neutralizes the hydroxide so it’s not harmful to hair."

I also spoke with Shawn, the owner of Good Clean Soaps and she basically told me the same exact thing. Therefore, I felt comfortable and decided that I still wanted them. Don't believe me? Here is another source that states that its harmless: Natural Haven. 

She has a nice variety of scents to chose from and I picked:  BLACK RASPBERRY - Handcrafted with Abita Purple Haze, MANGO CILANTRO - Handcrafted with Summer Shandy and VANILLA BEAN - Handcrafted with Leinenkugel Snowdrift Vanilla Porter. I got a set of 3 scents for $24.45 including shipping. 

I love the packaging for these and each bar is a pretty good size. Shawn also recommends that you don't use the whole bar, but cut pieces off as needed to make it last longer. I can see these bars lasting me about 6 months (I typically wash my hair once a week.)


                 

Photo from Good Clean Soap Shop

Here is a picture of the beer soaps and my hair when I washed them! 

I have a combo of 4A, B and C hair. 

Hair with shampoo

I dried my hair with a t-shirt

Rinsed and somewhat dry (This is from a different wash day, but same soap).

After I shampooed my hair, it felt soft, smelled great and didn't feel stripped at all. I would definitely recommend these soaps to any one interested in trying beer in their hair! 

Purchase your soap here: Good Clean Soaps

Follow on Instagram: @goodcleansoap

Confessions of a Naturalista: Mae; "Brains and Beauty"

Mae aka "Natural Chica" is no stranger to any of us in the natural hair community. She's the creator and editor of NaturalChica.com and corresponding YouTube channel (Nikkimae2003). BUT did you know that Mae is also a Ph.D. candidate in Materials Science & Engineering?! Raise your hand if you know what that is! lol

Not only is she gorgeous, personable, friendly and stylish, but she’s super intelligent! (Anyone who studies any type of Science and Engineering is nothing short of a genius in my mind.) She received her B.S. in Materials Science & Engineering from the University of Maryland – College Park (my alma mater, Go Terps!)

Mae is an amazing example not only to the natural hair community, but to women in general of what it means to have brains and beauty (especially inward) and that anything is possible with dedication and determination. Continue to read to learn more about her experience in this field.

Materials Science & Engineering, “investigates the relationship between the structure of materials at atomic or molecular scales and their macroscopic properties.”-Wikipedia

 In Lamens Terms: "Materials science and engineering is a discipline that enables the creation and application of materials in society.  Materials engineers modify and design materials to perform better than they otherwise would. They develop new materials and create uses for them that benefit humans." (http://www.matse.psu.edu/whatismatse)

What inspired you to pursue a degree and career in this industry?

I had a wonderful guidance counselor in high school that recommended I attend a summer program geared towards females interested in engineering because of my expressed interest in math and science. The program was held at the University of Maryland and I really enjoyed learning about the different fields of engineering and their real world applications. It was there that I was introduced to the field of Materials Science and decided I wanted to major in that field when I went to college. I thought it was really interesting to be able to understand at the atomic level why materials behave the way they do and how you can tailor their properties for various applications. 

There aren’t many women or women of color in the field of Engineering, what’s your experience like?

It's true that there aren't many women or women of color in engineering, but those numbers have actually been increasing! It wasn't rare for me to be the only female on the team for a group project or to be the only person of color in an entire class, however I was well supported throughout my engineering studies through participation and leadership in groups like the National Society of Black Engineers and the Society of Women Engineers. It's always great to be able to relate to others with similar circumstances, and being involved in those groups definitely enhanced my undergraduate journey in engineering.

Why do you think not many women of color are in this field?

There have been many national studies that have tried to address this question and it’s certainly a number of different factors. I personally think exposure at a young age is an important factor as you can't pursue something you don't even know exists or how it relates to society. I had never heard of Materials Science until a year before I graduated and it was thanks to my guidance counselor's recommendation that I participate in the engineering summer program. During my involvement with the National Society of Black Engineers and Society of Women Engineers, we would actually put on engineering programs for elementary and high school students in underrepresented areas, which was exciting as we saw many students develop an interest in science and engineering that hadn't before. 

Was it and is it ever difficult for you to acclimate or relate to your peers/colleagues?

In undergrad, the environment could be a bit intimidating at times since some students were extremely competitive. Once I made up my mind that all that mattered was me doing my best, I released those fears and have carried that attitude into my graduate studies as well. 

Where do you see yourself in this industry and what is your ultimate career goal?

My current Ph.D. research is in the area of biomaterials design, which is essentially researching the next generation of materials for devices that interact with the body. I do enjoy the research environment and want to work with research and development teams in engineering biomedical solutions that will enhance the quality of life. Ultimately, I want to have a positive impact on society in whatever role I am in. 

Engineering is no walk-in-the-park, have you ever wanted to give up or questioned why you’re on this path?

I certainly have become frustrated at various points throughout my undergraduate and graduate studies as probably any student of any field will tell you. My dad gave me great advice when I was younger about thinking of the end goal when frustration would hit. That helped remind me of why I was doing what I was doing and helped me develop some serious faith, persistence and patience as I progressed through my studies.

What keeps you motivated?I believe that I'm at this point in my life because of God and it's by His strength that I continue to do what I do. I also have the most incredible support from my husband, family and friends. 

What do you like the most and least about your field?

Since I was a kid, I've always had questions about how things work, and being in the field of engineering has given me the tool set to understand existing answers and discover the answers to the questions not answered yet. As a graduate student conducting research in Materials Science, it can be frustrating when you set up experiments to try and answer scientific questions and they don't turn out the way you hypothesized. However, even in those "failures", I've realized that there is much to be learned from those experiences as well. 

My husband is an Industrial and Systems Management Engineer and I remember him not sleeping for days (lol). How in the world do you manage balancing being a wife and student while having a successful blog/vlog?

For me, it's all about keeping my priorities straight. My relationship with God and family is first, followed by my studies then running my blog/vlog. I live by my planner and it helps me keep track of what's on my plate and when I can allot time for lower priority items. It's not easy and frequently means late nights/early mornings, but it helps when you're doing what you love!

Who inspires you?

People who are passionate about what they do and have a positive influence in their community. I'm inspired by people that go after their dreams, even if its one small step a time. Those small steps turn into major progress! 

What advice would you give someone looking to become an engineer?

I would encourage them to explore the different fields of engineering and look at how these different fields play a role in society. Also, don't be afraid to reach out to engineers working in a field that you're interested in and having an in-depth conversation with them about what they do. If there are pre-college engineering programs at your local institutions, I would definitely recommend enrolling in those as well. 

My hat goes off to all the Scientists and Engineers out there in the natural hair community! If that's you shout out your field in the comments section below!